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Good Friends Might Be Your Best Brain Booster As You Age

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Ask Edith Smith, a proud 103-year-old, about her friends, and she鈥檒l give you an earful.

There鈥檚 Johnetta, 101, whom she鈥檚 known for 70 years and who has Alzheimer鈥檚 disease. 鈥淚 call her every day and just say 鈥楬i, how are you doing?鈥 She never knows, but she says hi back, and I tease her,鈥 Smith said.

There鈥檚 Katie, 93, whom Smith met during a long teaching career with the Chicago Public Schools. 鈥淓very day we have a good conversation. She鈥檚 still driving and lives in her own house, and she tells me what鈥檚 going on.鈥

Then there鈥檚 Rhea, 90, whom Smith visits regularly at a retirement facility. And Mary, 95, who doesn鈥檛 leave her house anymore, 鈥渟o I fix her a basket about once a month of jelly and little things I make and send it over by cab.鈥 And fellow residents at Smith鈥檚 Chicago senior community, whom she recognizes with a card and a treat on their birthdays.

鈥淚鈥檓 a very friendly person,鈥 Smith said, when asked to describe herself.

That may be one reason why this lively centenarian has an extraordinary memory for someone her age, suggests a by researchers at Northwestern University highlighting a notable link between brain health and positive relationships.

For nine years, these experts have been examining 鈥淪uperAgers鈥 鈥 men and women over age 80 whose memories are as good 鈥 or better 鈥 than people 20 to 30 years younger. Every couple of years, the group fills out surveys about their lives and gets a battery of neuropsychological tests, brain scans and a neurological examination, among other evaluations.

鈥淲hen we started this project, we weren鈥檛 really sure we could find these individuals,鈥 said Emily Rogalski, an associate professor at the at Northwestern鈥檚 Feinberg School of Medicine.

But find them they did: Thirty-one older men and women with exceptional memories, mostly from Illinois and surrounding states, are currently participating in the project. 鈥淧art of the goal is to characterize them 鈥 who are they, what are they like,鈥 Rogalski said.

by the Northwestern group provided tantalizing clues, showing that SuperAgers have distinctive brain features: thicker cortexes, a resistance to age-related atrophy and a larger left anterior cingulate (a part of the brain important to attention and working memory).

But brain structure alone doesn鈥檛 fully account for SuperAgers鈥 unusual mental acuity, Rogalski suggested. 鈥淚t鈥檚 likely there are a number of critical factors that are implicated,鈥 she said.

For their new study, the researchers asked 31 SuperAgers and 19 cognitively 鈥渘ormal鈥 older adults to fill out a 42-item questionnaire about their psychological well-being. The SuperAgers stood out in one area: the degree to which they reported having satisfying, warm, trusting relationships. (In other areas, such as having a purpose in life or retaining autonomy, they were much like their 鈥渘ormal鈥 peers.)

鈥淪ocial relationships are really important鈥 to this group and might play a significant role in preserving their cognition, Rogalski said.

That finding is consistent with linking positive relationships to a reduced risk of cognitive decline, mild cognitive impairment and dementia. Still, researchers haven鈥檛 examined how SuperAgers sustain these relationships and whether their experiences might include lessons for others.

Smith, one of the SuperAgers, has plenty of thoughts about that. At her retirement community, she鈥檚 one of nine people who welcome new residents and try to help make them feel at home. 鈥淚 have a smile for everybody,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 try to learn someone鈥檚 name as soon as they come in, and if I see them it鈥檚 鈥楪ood morning, how do you do?鈥欌

鈥淢any old people, all they do is tell you the same story over and over,鈥 she said. 鈥淎nd sometimes, all they do is complain and not show any interest in what you have to say. That鈥檚 terrible. You have to listen to what people have to say.鈥

Brian Fenwick, administrator of the Bethany Retirement Community where Smith lives, calls Smith a 鈥渓eader in the community鈥 and explains that 鈥渟he鈥檚 very involved. She keeps us in line. She notices what鈥檚 going on and isn鈥檛 afraid to speak out.鈥

Fifteen years ago, Smith became a caregiver for her husband, who passed away in 2013. 鈥淎ll the time he was ill, I was still doing things for me,鈥 she recalls. 鈥淵ou cannot drop everything and expect to be able to pick it up. You can鈥檛 drop your friends and expect them to be there when you鈥檙e ready.鈥

What she does every day, she said, is 鈥渟how people I care.鈥

William 鈥淏ill鈥 Gurolnick, 86, another SuperAger in the study, realized the value of becoming more demonstrative after he retired from a sales and marketing position in 1999. 鈥淢en aren鈥檛 usually inclined to talk about their feelings, and I was a keep-things-inside kind of person,鈥 he explained. 鈥淏ut opening up to other people is one of the things that I learned to do.鈥

With a small group of other men who鈥檇 left the work world behind, Gurolnick helped found a men鈥檚 group, Men Enjoying Leisure, which now has nearly 150 members and has spawned four similar groups in the Chicago suburbs.聽 Every month, the group meets for two hours, including one hour they spend discussing personal issues 鈥 divorce, illness, children who can鈥檛 find jobs, and more.

鈥淲e learn people aren鈥檛 alone in the problems they鈥檙e dealing with,鈥 Gurolnick said, adding that a dozen or so of the men have become good friends.

鈥淏ill is the glue that holds the whole group together,鈥 said Buddy Kalish, 80, a member of the group in Northbrook, Ill., a Chicago suburb. 鈥淗e鈥檚 very, very caring 鈥 the first one to send out a thank-you note, the first one to send out a notice when there鈥檚 been a death in the family.鈥

Activities are another way of cultivating relationships for Gurolnick. On Mondays, he bikes 20 to 30 miles with more than a dozen older men 鈥 many of them from his men鈥檚 group 鈥 followed by lunch. On Tuesdays, he鈥檚 part of a walking group, followed by coffee. On Wednesdays, he goes to the Wenger Jewish Community Center in Northbrook for two hours of water volleyball. On Thursdays, it鈥檚 back to the JCC for pickleball, a racquet sport.

鈥淵ou really get a sense of still being alive,鈥 Gurolnick said, when asked what he takes away from these interactions. 鈥淵ou get a sense of not being alone.鈥

Without her best friend, Grayce, whom she鈥檚 known since high school, and friends who live in her condominium complex, Evelyn Finegan, 88, might have become isolated. Another SuperAger, Finegan is hard of hearing and has macular degeneration in both eyes, but otherwise is astonishingly healthy.

鈥淚t鈥檚 very important to keep up with your friends 鈥 to pick up the phone and call,鈥 said Finegan, who talks to Grayce almost daily and chats with four other friends from high school on a regular basis.

Today, the staples of Finegan鈥檚 life are her church; a monthly book club; volunteering at a resale shop in Oak Park, Ill.; socializing with a few people in her building; attending a club of Welsh women; and seeing her daughter, her son-in-law and grandchildren, who live in Oregon, whenever she can.

鈥淚t鈥檚 so nice to spend time with Evelyn,鈥 said her upstairs neighbor, June Witzl, 91, who often drives Finegan to doctors鈥 appointments. 鈥淪he鈥檚 very kind and very generous. And she tells you what she believes so you really feel like you know her, instead of wondering what鈥檚 on her mind.鈥

We鈥檙e eager to hear from readers about questions you鈥檇 like answered, problems you鈥檝e been having with your care and advice you need in dealing with the health care system. Visit to submit your requests or tips.

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